Tech Etiquette

"Always seem to, be govern'd by this love we have, For useless, twisting, our new technology." -Jamiroquai

Do your iPod habits irritate others? Are you committing PDA faux pas? Learn how to be plugged in without being impolite.

Question: You're walking down the street and listening to your iPod when you run into someone you know. Do you need to remove both ear buds to talk to her?
Answer: Yes, both buds need to come out. People want to know that the person they're talking to is really paying attention to them. Etiquette is all about making other other person more comfortable; how comfortable could your friend be trying to talk to you when you've got something in your ears?

Question: Is it rude to check your PDA at a friend's house?
Answer: Think of your PDA as a crossword puzzle. Anywhere it's acceptable to work on a crossword puzzle, it's ok to check your PDA. However, if you arrive at a friend's home and explain that you need to check a few emails before you visit so you can give her your full attention, she will probably understand.

Question: How quickly must I respond to an email? Are standards different for personal v. work?
Answer: The sooner you can reply properly, the better. Never leave someone hanging. Having said that, it's also about consistency. If you're going to deviate from what you usually do, use your automatic-response setting to let people know why they might not be hearing from you as quickly as they're used to.

Question: If someone calls you, can you email the person back or send a text message? What if you text or email someone and the person calls you back?
Answer: Unless the person has requested something specific or you sense a tinge of urgency, there's nothing uncivil about replying with a "Can we talk later?" text message. But also consider the best way to respond. If someone called you to get directions somewhere, fore example, reply via email so you can send along a map.

Question: Is using BCC (blind carbon copy) on an email considered sneaky?
Answer: Yes, and it's dangerous, too, because your BCC can be exposed if the blind recipient hits Reply All or forwards the email to someone else. To protect yourself from this, forward the message separately with an explanation.

Question: Is it ok to talk on your cell phone when you're ordering food, getting your hair done at a salon, making a transaction at a bank, etc?
Answer: No. You should treat everyone with common decency and respect, so don't do it anymore.

Question: How do I put an end to an email exchange that is swallowing up my day?
Answer: First, if you're getting too many emails maybe you're sending too many. But, if that is not the case, and it's a good friend, tell her it's been great chitchatting but you have to go. If it's a client who is a friend, tell her you have to get back to work but would love to catch up when you see her next.

Question: You're about to meet someone for the first time and you Google the person for background information. Is it ok to bring up what you learned about her in conversation?
Answer: If you can compliment someone on an award or a promotion, it shows you've done your homework. But bringing up personal information could be stalkerish. Just make sure the information is fairly new, within the last six months, and that it's something you would feel comfortable with if they had that information about you.

Question: Are emoticons appropriate to use in an office email correspondence?
Answer: Yes, when used sparingly and with discretion. They're a quick and easy way to add a friendly tone, but they won't take the barb out of an insult.

Question: Is it ok to omit a salutation and a closing in a business email?
Answer: They are ok to omit after a first email if you're going back and forth with short messages. Often times business emails get printed and distributed to people who may not know you, so you should always include your full name, title, company and contact information as part of your signature.

Question: You accidentally forwarded an email to a friend in which you bad-mouthed her partner. What do you do?
Answer: You need to call her immediately and tell her how sorry you are. Don't try to justify your comments, as that could make things worse. Apologize, apologize and apologize some more.

Question: Is it acceptable to text or email big news (a new job, a pregnancy, etc)?
Answer: Since those closest to us aren't always nearby, and getting everyone together can be a challenge, an email is fine for big news. Another rule of thumb, if email is usually how you communicate with the person, it is fine.

Question: A friend has a blog, and you feel that she is embarrassing herself by giving away too much personal information. How can you tell her?
Answer: If the information on her blog is creating a safety issue - like she could be attracting a stalker - you're morally obligated to tell her. Other than that, you could pose it as a question, such as "How do you decide what's too personal for your blog?" Make sure she knows you are asking out of concern and not judging her.

Question: Can you ignore someone who "friends" you on social-networking sites?
Answer: Yes. Giving someone you don't entirely trust access to personal information is a safety issue. Also, if people in your network can post and view photos and funny comments about you, it's best to restrict access to people who are truly your friends. Tell her that you try to keep a low profile on networking sites and leave it at that.

Question: Is there a polite way to use call waiting?
Answer: Make your decision based on whom you're speaking with. You're grandmother might mind if you use it, but a friend would probably be ok with it. It is a good idea to tell the person that you are expecting a call so that if you are interrupted, she will understand.

Modern Do's and Don'ts of Proper Attire

"She knows what to wear and how to wear it." -Marques Houston

A list of common occasions and what to wear for each. Click on the occasion for more advice and some suggestions.

Wedding: White is still the ultimate wedding no-no. Let the invitation, season and hour be your guide.

Dinner Party: Gauge your outfit by the party. Given the number of variable, there's no one right anser, which can make things a bit tricky.

Cocktail Party: Cocktail dresses are always in style, but you have other options.

Business Dinner or Company Party: Keep things professional but in line with the event; and the culture of your office should prevail in your choice.


Job Interview: You can't go wrong with a suit, but in many fields it's not the only (or best) choice.

A Funeral or Wake: While your outfit doesn't have to be black; it does have to be respectful.


A Baptism, Bar Mitzvah or other religious ceremony: Honor the occasion in attire that is tasteful, not stuffy. Steer clear of anything low-cut or clingy, but also of anything overly serious when celebrating a happy milestone.


A Night at the Theater, Ballet or Opera: Once upon a time, these evenings out were considered a license to dress to the nines. Nowadays, you've got a pretty wide variety. Still, spiff it up!


A Good First Impression (a first date, meeing the in-laws, school functions): Dress true to your personality but this isn't the time to take risks.

A "Festive" Party: Get dolled up and have fun with it. There are lots of options, from slinky tops with dressy slacks to a dress in a bold color or print.

Recycle Anything

"Time to re-up gotta recycle the flow (Cycle the flow)." -Young Jeezy

Real Simple has a great feature on "How to Recycle Anything." An A-Z guide to use as a reference for recycling those everyday and not so everyday items that you don't know how best to get rid of. Also, see my post "A Bit of Give and Take" for more ideas on how to reduce waste!

Grocery To Go

"If you compare me to your local grocery, then you'll see I got more karats than Aisle D." -Nelly

A University of Connecticut study claims that grocery delivery will cut down your urge to buy high-fat foods. Try these services:

BoxedGreens.com ships organic produce, meats and other goods nationwide.

DiamondOrganics.com sends organic produce, meat, fish, baked foods and wine nationwide.

Peapod.com lets you sort by claories, fat, fiber and other nutritional categories.

Amazon.com's new subscribe-and-save sevice delivers household goods, like paper towels and diapers, on a regular monthly sechedule at a 15% discount; plus shipping is free.

Also, your local grocery store might offer delivery services. We used to get ours delivered and it did save us money because we couldn't get impulse purchases. We stopped only because they stopped delivery to our neighborhood.

Downloads To Go

"Virus check a mi scan dem download." -Beenie Man

At Enhanced Healing, browse a selection of relaxation and meditation tracks tailored to specific goals such as building self-esteem, reducing stress or beating insomnia.

Ancient practice and high-tech merge at Yoga Download, which offers portable audio classes for yogis of all levels. You'll find Kundalini and Ashtanga alongside offerings such as Office Yoga.

At iTrain, access a range of MP3-compatible workouts, each combining a trainer's instructions with music to keep you fired up. Try the cardio and strength-training routines such as running, rowing, cycling and Pilates - or even programs tailored specially for the elliptical machine. You can access the same type of stuff on iTunes for your iPod.

Search the digital library at Simply Audiobooks and instantly access titles in more than 30 genres, including biographies, literature, romance, relationships and more.

Mask Magic

"I got it, You got it, We got the magic girl..." -Robin Thicke

Olive & Avocado Deep Conditioning Masque by Earth Science: Swap your usual hair conditioner for this one once a week. Natural silk protein and avocado and olive oils repair dry, damaged locks.

Masque No. 1 by Yon-Ka: This vitamin-packed, super-hydrating treatment relies on A, B, C and E to fight free radicals and reduce fine lines. You'll feel soothed by the hints of rose and jasmine.

Mineral Body Mask by Get Fresh Spa: Made with Dead Sea clay and goldenseal extract, this dense mask feels luxurious on skin, and its grapefruit scent refreshes the soul. Slather it on legs, arms and feet before hopping in the shower, and emerge smooth and glowing.

Chocolate Mask by Violet Skin Boutique: Completely natural ingredients like fresh egg yolk, chocolate oil and eglantine-seed syrup come together in a handmade sweet treat for face and neck.

Rose Formula Anti-Oxidant Facial Mask by Neal's Yard Remedies: Skin feels clean and rejuvenated after a session with this blend of organic rose and maple extracts, geranium and cardamom.

Raspberry Eye Masque by Eminence Organic Skin Care: This feather-light cream hydrates, firms and brightens the delicate eye area with vitamin K, wild hops, gingerroot and red clover.

Great Fall Treats

"Well look I'll treat you good; My man treats me better." -Positive K

Fall, glorious fall! The return of crisp air, golden hues, endless football…and longings for all those cool-weather comfort foods. Stay trim this season while still indulging your cravings with these seven tasty low-cal snacks.

69 calories: 8 Danielle Pumpkin Chips

60 calories: Pure Maple Candy Man

49 calories: 2 tablespoons sweetened cranberries

50 calories: 1 Dancing Deer Baking Co. Chocolate Bar

60 calories: 4 ounces apple cider with a cinnamon stick

50 calories: 1/2 Anjou Pear

59 calories: S'more (1 large marshmallow, 1/4 graham cracker and 1 Hershey's chocolate bar square)

Let's Make This Simple

"Why do you make something so easy so complicated." -Usher

I keep tearing out articles and snippets about what vitamins are found in what fruit/vegetable and what it'll do for you specifically. I hang them on the fridge like, "Oooo, I'm gonna start eating more x (enter in any fruit/veggie of your choice)." But I know I won't. I won't make an concerted effort to seek out that new, anti-aging fruit that, while supposedly works miracles, can't be found anywhere.

What I suggest, as much to me as to you, is to eat a wide variety of fruits and veggies and don't worry about it! But make sure you're eating them! Start your day off with fruits so that you are eating them on an empty stomach (fruit acids produce a fermentation that can upset stomachs and slow digestion of other foods) then have veggies with dinner and as a late night snack (vegetable may be combined with either proteins or carbohydrates). See HealthyWayMagazine for a good article on this concept.

So, while it's great to know what every vitamin will do and how to get it, I'm going to stop collecting these types of articles, stop with the guilt of not incorporating each and every vitamin into my daily diet (take a multi if you're so concerned) and just start eating 'em!

Bare Nail Care

"All my girls get your hair fixed and your nails done put your hands up and say okay." -Nivea


For bare nails to look chic, they must be well manicured. To start, thoroughly remove old polish with an acetone remover. Clean the underside of nail tips with a soapy nail brush; dry completely. Next, file nails into desired shape (square with rounded edges is the most popular) using long, even strokes.
TIP: Do not saw back and forth with the file as this splits the nail.

The next step - buffing - is key to getting bare nails attractive. Reach for a buffing block that has both a rough surface (to smooth ridges) and a soft one (to enhance shine). Use the rough side first, buffing in an X motion - from lower left to upper right of nail surface, then vice versa. Next, use the soft side of the block in a side-to-side motion: When you hear a "squeak," it's a sign that you've obtained the sheen that's necessary for this look.

Finally, use a white pencil under nail tips. You also need to take care of your cuticles with an oil or cuticle cream. For the crispest look, finish with a coat of a clear nail brightener to protect and camouflage discoloration.