Tech Etiquette

"Always seem to, be govern'd by this love we have, For useless, twisting, our new technology." -Jamiroquai

Do your iPod habits irritate others? Are you committing PDA faux pas? Learn how to be plugged in without being impolite.

Question: You're walking down the street and listening to your iPod when you run into someone you know. Do you need to remove both ear buds to talk to her?
Answer: Yes, both buds need to come out. People want to know that the person they're talking to is really paying attention to them. Etiquette is all about making other other person more comfortable; how comfortable could your friend be trying to talk to you when you've got something in your ears?

Question: Is it rude to check your PDA at a friend's house?
Answer: Think of your PDA as a crossword puzzle. Anywhere it's acceptable to work on a crossword puzzle, it's ok to check your PDA. However, if you arrive at a friend's home and explain that you need to check a few emails before you visit so you can give her your full attention, she will probably understand.

Question: How quickly must I respond to an email? Are standards different for personal v. work?
Answer: The sooner you can reply properly, the better. Never leave someone hanging. Having said that, it's also about consistency. If you're going to deviate from what you usually do, use your automatic-response setting to let people know why they might not be hearing from you as quickly as they're used to.

Question: If someone calls you, can you email the person back or send a text message? What if you text or email someone and the person calls you back?
Answer: Unless the person has requested something specific or you sense a tinge of urgency, there's nothing uncivil about replying with a "Can we talk later?" text message. But also consider the best way to respond. If someone called you to get directions somewhere, fore example, reply via email so you can send along a map.

Question: Is using BCC (blind carbon copy) on an email considered sneaky?
Answer: Yes, and it's dangerous, too, because your BCC can be exposed if the blind recipient hits Reply All or forwards the email to someone else. To protect yourself from this, forward the message separately with an explanation.

Question: Is it ok to talk on your cell phone when you're ordering food, getting your hair done at a salon, making a transaction at a bank, etc?
Answer: No. You should treat everyone with common decency and respect, so don't do it anymore.

Question: How do I put an end to an email exchange that is swallowing up my day?
Answer: First, if you're getting too many emails maybe you're sending too many. But, if that is not the case, and it's a good friend, tell her it's been great chitchatting but you have to go. If it's a client who is a friend, tell her you have to get back to work but would love to catch up when you see her next.

Question: You're about to meet someone for the first time and you Google the person for background information. Is it ok to bring up what you learned about her in conversation?
Answer: If you can compliment someone on an award or a promotion, it shows you've done your homework. But bringing up personal information could be stalkerish. Just make sure the information is fairly new, within the last six months, and that it's something you would feel comfortable with if they had that information about you.

Question: Are emoticons appropriate to use in an office email correspondence?
Answer: Yes, when used sparingly and with discretion. They're a quick and easy way to add a friendly tone, but they won't take the barb out of an insult.

Question: Is it ok to omit a salutation and a closing in a business email?
Answer: They are ok to omit after a first email if you're going back and forth with short messages. Often times business emails get printed and distributed to people who may not know you, so you should always include your full name, title, company and contact information as part of your signature.

Question: You accidentally forwarded an email to a friend in which you bad-mouthed her partner. What do you do?
Answer: You need to call her immediately and tell her how sorry you are. Don't try to justify your comments, as that could make things worse. Apologize, apologize and apologize some more.

Question: Is it acceptable to text or email big news (a new job, a pregnancy, etc)?
Answer: Since those closest to us aren't always nearby, and getting everyone together can be a challenge, an email is fine for big news. Another rule of thumb, if email is usually how you communicate with the person, it is fine.

Question: A friend has a blog, and you feel that she is embarrassing herself by giving away too much personal information. How can you tell her?
Answer: If the information on her blog is creating a safety issue - like she could be attracting a stalker - you're morally obligated to tell her. Other than that, you could pose it as a question, such as "How do you decide what's too personal for your blog?" Make sure she knows you are asking out of concern and not judging her.

Question: Can you ignore someone who "friends" you on social-networking sites?
Answer: Yes. Giving someone you don't entirely trust access to personal information is a safety issue. Also, if people in your network can post and view photos and funny comments about you, it's best to restrict access to people who are truly your friends. Tell her that you try to keep a low profile on networking sites and leave it at that.

Question: Is there a polite way to use call waiting?
Answer: Make your decision based on whom you're speaking with. You're grandmother might mind if you use it, but a friend would probably be ok with it. It is a good idea to tell the person that you are expecting a call so that if you are interrupted, she will understand.