Tech Etiquette

"Always seem to, be govern'd by this love we have, For useless, twisting, our new technology." -Jamiroquai

Do your iPod habits irritate others? Are you committing PDA faux pas? Learn how to be plugged in without being impolite.

Question: You're walking down the street and listening to your iPod when you run into someone you know. Do you need to remove both ear buds to talk to her?
Answer: Yes, both buds need to come out. People want to know that the person they're talking to is really paying attention to them. Etiquette is all about making other other person more comfortable; how comfortable could your friend be trying to talk to you when you've got something in your ears?

Question: Is it rude to check your PDA at a friend's house?
Answer: Think of your PDA as a crossword puzzle. Anywhere it's acceptable to work on a crossword puzzle, it's ok to check your PDA. However, if you arrive at a friend's home and explain that you need to check a few emails before you visit so you can give her your full attention, she will probably understand.

Question: How quickly must I respond to an email? Are standards different for personal v. work?
Answer: The sooner you can reply properly, the better. Never leave someone hanging. Having said that, it's also about consistency. If you're going to deviate from what you usually do, use your automatic-response setting to let people know why they might not be hearing from you as quickly as they're used to.

Question: If someone calls you, can you email the person back or send a text message? What if you text or email someone and the person calls you back?
Answer: Unless the person has requested something specific or you sense a tinge of urgency, there's nothing uncivil about replying with a "Can we talk later?" text message. But also consider the best way to respond. If someone called you to get directions somewhere, fore example, reply via email so you can send along a map.

Question: Is using BCC (blind carbon copy) on an email considered sneaky?
Answer: Yes, and it's dangerous, too, because your BCC can be exposed if the blind recipient hits Reply All or forwards the email to someone else. To protect yourself from this, forward the message separately with an explanation.

Question: Is it ok to talk on your cell phone when you're ordering food, getting your hair done at a salon, making a transaction at a bank, etc?
Answer: No. You should treat everyone with common decency and respect, so don't do it anymore.

Question: How do I put an end to an email exchange that is swallowing up my day?
Answer: First, if you're getting too many emails maybe you're sending too many. But, if that is not the case, and it's a good friend, tell her it's been great chitchatting but you have to go. If it's a client who is a friend, tell her you have to get back to work but would love to catch up when you see her next.

Question: You're about to meet someone for the first time and you Google the person for background information. Is it ok to bring up what you learned about her in conversation?
Answer: If you can compliment someone on an award or a promotion, it shows you've done your homework. But bringing up personal information could be stalkerish. Just make sure the information is fairly new, within the last six months, and that it's something you would feel comfortable with if they had that information about you.

Question: Are emoticons appropriate to use in an office email correspondence?
Answer: Yes, when used sparingly and with discretion. They're a quick and easy way to add a friendly tone, but they won't take the barb out of an insult.

Question: Is it ok to omit a salutation and a closing in a business email?
Answer: They are ok to omit after a first email if you're going back and forth with short messages. Often times business emails get printed and distributed to people who may not know you, so you should always include your full name, title, company and contact information as part of your signature.

Question: You accidentally forwarded an email to a friend in which you bad-mouthed her partner. What do you do?
Answer: You need to call her immediately and tell her how sorry you are. Don't try to justify your comments, as that could make things worse. Apologize, apologize and apologize some more.

Question: Is it acceptable to text or email big news (a new job, a pregnancy, etc)?
Answer: Since those closest to us aren't always nearby, and getting everyone together can be a challenge, an email is fine for big news. Another rule of thumb, if email is usually how you communicate with the person, it is fine.

Question: A friend has a blog, and you feel that she is embarrassing herself by giving away too much personal information. How can you tell her?
Answer: If the information on her blog is creating a safety issue - like she could be attracting a stalker - you're morally obligated to tell her. Other than that, you could pose it as a question, such as "How do you decide what's too personal for your blog?" Make sure she knows you are asking out of concern and not judging her.

Question: Can you ignore someone who "friends" you on social-networking sites?
Answer: Yes. Giving someone you don't entirely trust access to personal information is a safety issue. Also, if people in your network can post and view photos and funny comments about you, it's best to restrict access to people who are truly your friends. Tell her that you try to keep a low profile on networking sites and leave it at that.

Question: Is there a polite way to use call waiting?
Answer: Make your decision based on whom you're speaking with. You're grandmother might mind if you use it, but a friend would probably be ok with it. It is a good idea to tell the person that you are expecting a call so that if you are interrupted, she will understand.

Support For Our Soldiers

"I need a soldier. That ain't scared to stand up for me." -Destiny's Child


Books for Soldiers: Once your application is approved, you will be able to send troops books, DVDs, games and relief supplies. You will also have access to our Pen Pal area and Post Card Jamboree. on average our volunteers fill over 1000 requests a month. Get started today and get your company, civic group or place of worship involved with supporting our troops.


Any Soldier: All the Soldiers involved in this effort are military volunteers stationed in areas that are in harm's way. You send your support (letters and/or packages) addressed to them and when they see the "Attn: Any Soldier" line in their address they put your letters and packages into the hands of Soldiers who don't get much or any mail first. Everything is shared.


America Supports You: America Supports You is a Department of Defense program that provides opportunities for citizens to show their support for the US Armed Forces. The program was launched in 2004 in an effort to highlight citizen support for our military men and women and communicate that support to the members of our Armed Forces at home and abroad.


Any other organizations, that are good and useful, that you know of...please share with the rest of us!

Charity Information and Ideas

"Ain't nuttin free, give back what you earn, no doubt." -2Pac

Good Search should be used by everyone. Enter the charity or school you support here then click "verify." Next, search from above and earn money for your cause!

The Charity Navigator will aid you in your search for a charity you can trust.

Sign up with Care2.org and network with other organizations and individuals who care to make a difference.

Let's Talk Money

"Wanna talk about money? Then talk without it." -Jermaine Dupri

Mint: Free finance software. Easy money management.

NAPFA: National Association of Personal Financial Advisers. Look one up or contact me, I know a few good ones!

Wesabe: Community of people just like you, with real life financial situations, sharing advice and tips.

Stop to Smell the Flowers

"Even when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest with an 'S' on my chest, oh yes, I'm a Superwoman." -Alicia Keys

I was reading a great article in, you guess it, Real Simple about women and their many stages in life, and came across this amazing statement and want to share.

"If I were the mother of a young child today, knowing what I know now, I would be confident that all identities - awe-filled teenage girl; independent woman in her 20s; anxious, love-besotted new mother - are astonishingly, mournfully brief."

So true, enjoy who you are at this moment.

Spend? Save? Invest?

"Shake your money maker like somebody boutta pay ya..." -Pharrell with Ludacris

Answers to common money questions...all in a nutshell. Great for reference - I keep going back to it. Found in Real Simple.

Also, check out the book Secrets of the Young & Successful by Jennifer Kushell.

Is Refinancing Right?

"And since I cover the mortgage, the car note, the Porsche and the condo." -Da Brat

Click here to read the short and sweet article from Real Simple on whether or not you should refinance your mortgage.

Habits of So-Happy Couples

"Such a happy couple love and some." -Stevie Wonder


From the April 2003 issue of Cosmo:

1. They have their own lives - To go the distance, it's important that you allot some time to spend away from each other doing things that you enjoy.

2. They create their own customs - Having a one-of-a-kind routine that you call your own can boost your bond in a way other things can't.

3. They remember not to take each other for granted - There's a big difference between getting comfortable and getting sloppy. Don't get sloppy.

4. They still make out - Ban the quick peck and make it a conscious point to kiss passionately on a regular basis.

5. They fight to resolve, not to win - The secret is to focus on making progress, not scoring points.

6. They get sappy sometimes - Giving in to those goofy impulses provides a peek at each other's quirky side, one that's lighthearted and silly.

10 Big Rules of Small Talk

"Nothing comes from talkers but sound." -Tevin Campbell

Real Simple (yes, this magazine is one of my favorites) had a great article on how to have small talk. I thought this was a great article because as we get older, we find ourselves increasingly in places with people that we do not know. Remember how easy it was when we were kids to say to the person sitting next to us, "Wanna share crayons?" It's still that easy! Click here to read the article and get some tips for your next networking opportunity.

The Seven Habits of Highly Motivated People

"All you hatin' is fuel to my fire...It's motivation." -T.I.

No longer available via the internet, Real Simple's "The Seven Habits of Highly Motivated People" gives great advice on how to get and stay motivated. Here is a summary of the article:

1. Decide on the size - sometimes our goals can be simplified and reduced. Activities during a vacation seeming to wear you down? Decide to sit and relax instead.
2. Multitask - Listen to a language instructional tape in the car, dance while cleaning or organize your closet a bit each morning before getting dressed.
3. Keep a record - Each and every day write down your goals; there are only so many times you can write "I want to make a demo tape" before you book the studio and do it.
4. Fix it so you have to do it - Sign up for that cooking class and treat it like school or work, if you don't attend you flunk or get fired. Sign up with a friend for extra incentive.
5. Get the right supplies and put them in plain sight - Even if you just dabble in your goals a bit each day, you will feel accomplishment and be encouraged to continue. If you are interested in some kind of art, get the supplies and put them on the coffee table so that you can draw a bit each night. Even if you can't one night, the sight of the items will keep the learner in you in the forefront.
6. Recruit your family or friends - This can add enthusiasm to your project, or, with kids, it can add the energy you feel you might not have. Plus, additional time with those you love is never wrong.
7. Seek inspiration - from a book, a movie, a speaker or a influential person.

And remember, there is no dream too silly, there is always time if you make the time and starting small usually leads to something big.

What Lawyers Know That You Wish You Knew

"I brought the money like the lawyer said to do..." -Bob Marley

Featured in Real Simple
Based on the book Winning Every Time: How to Use the Skills of a Lawyer in the Trials of Your Life (Ballantine) by Lis Wiehl.

1. Know your theory of the case - what is your end goal?
2. Pick your juror - who is likely to help achieve your goal?
3. Discovery - gather evidence and knowledge.
4. Make your case - confront.
5. Cross-examination - should you encounter a hostile witness.
6. Avoid the 7 Deadly Spins - don't shoot yourself in the foot.
7. Tell a story - persuade by conveying your message in a memorable way.
8. Closing - ask for it and send thank yous.